Dear readers, the below post was (also) written while (I assume) drunk beyond memory. I don’t understand most of it.

If you are a police man, a law enforcement agent, or anyone involved in any way that may be deemed reasonably obviously the law enforcement industry, reading any further within this document will be considered an invasion of privacy and therefore illegal. Seriously, don’t fuck with that or this will be read out in court and you’ll be fucked. There’s precedent that I’ve forgotten, but that’s not the point. Stop reading.

I’ve been producing something. Fuck it’s good. I know the normal stuff, and thought, it’s all science, right? It’s just atoms, it can’t be that hard. And I’ll tell you, aspiring, non-law-enforcement-types: it is not that hard. Your first batch will be shit. Second and third will raise your eyebrows, and by the fourth, you’ll be assessing who is your friend and who isn’t, because you’ll want to spread the word and get your shit out there.

If you’re doing it for the money then you’re a dumb cunt; have a nice time in jail, my condolences to your bottom. But if you’re doing it for the love of the free market and/or your right to be better at stuff than that dipshit standing next to you, then spread your arms and soar, muthafukka! ‘Soar’ is a quote from the love of my life. I love it.