I’d Prefer the Change

Assuming, dear reader, that you’re not an idiot, you’re all over this climate change business. With that out of the way, I pose to you a question. Gonna try some quote mark style, see what that looks like.

If you could turn off climate change, would you?

Forget about how, just keep in mind that you can’t tell anyone. Scientists will simply begin to discover that there is, in fact, no climate change. Everything is fine. Always was. The whole thing was just a big misinterpretation of the data.

Great, you might think. The Maldives will stay dry, the Nigerian rainforest uninhabited, and the reason Iceland got it’s name will remain quite obvious to future generations.


Every climate-change denier on earth will think they were right all along. You will want to tell them, but you will have no comeback. They will mock your science; you will sit biting the crap out of your tongue. I can’t begin to imagine the form that Donald Trump’s smugness would take. I couldn’t find any recent quotes from Michael Crichton, but he’ll no doubt have something to say about it. And around 4% of taxi drivers. Those cunts knew all along.

Not to mention all the people who didn’t really care, but will jump on the yeah, I didn’t think it seemed right bandwagon. Oh, god it would be terrible.

So, would you?

Just answer quietly to yourself and go on with your day.