I’m starting a social club at my place of work. Introverts only.
Meetings will be held at a fabulously exciting location every month and you are expected to make excuses to not come. You are free to not come with a +1 as long as you don’t discuss it with me before hand. Although you are not required to not show up, it is highly recommended that you don’t.
If for some reason you have a genuine excuse to show up, I will be disappointed but understanding. However if you say to anyone the next day “where were you last night?” you will be expelled from the group.
Each month I will present an introvert of the month award; the winner will be notified by email. No one will be cc’d and I don’t want you to discuss it with me in any way. There will not be a meat tray or gift basket that you need to carry home on the train with everyone looking at you.
At the end of the year I will hold an awards ceremony where everyone that won introvert-of-the-month will be invited to not come up on stage and give a speech about the year that was. This once-a-year event is a great opportunity for you to not get to know your colleagues better and it is mandatory that you do not attend.
If you are eligible to join The Introvert’s Social Club you will not be notified at all. I look forward to not speaking to each and every one of you more than I have to.