I have a new favourite thing. I was talking to some chick today and her phone rang. It was on a shelf nearby. She said ‘excuse me’, went over to the phone, put it on silent and returned to the conversation with me.

Now, is that so hard? What about the rest of you? Can you people not just ignore your fucking phone when it rings? Without even looking at the screen I can tell you it’s either someone you know (not that exciting) or someone you don’t (not that exciting). You see? It is not more pressing than the next word that you or I were about to say. It is, in fact, less pressing. There is less press. The press is less.

The next time I’m talking to someone and they answer their phone, I’m going to leave the room and call them from a cab and make them hang on while I pay for said cab.

I should be honest here. The person I was speaking to when their phone rang was my hairdresser, and she was cutting my hair at the time. But still, she did good for not answering the phone. She did good.