To people that say: “I think there’s some things that science just can’t explain.” You’re a muthafucking idiot. That’s the entire point of science. Everything scientific is about discovering things that aren’t known. We’re not sitting around talking about how awesome chapter seven of the Bible is.

We can’t explain tears, or schizophrenia, or how short term memory transitions to long term. Neuroplasticity is still a mystery. Grand unified theory? Wait in line, muthafucker. Why do rainbows turn straight men gay? Nobody knows. They’re all mysteries, and they’re all the targets of scientists.

But you assholes want to have things that can never be explained. So sure, maybe that UFO really did send Martians to rape you. That’s totally the most reasonable explanation for your unplanned pregnancy. And to those that say science is too dry, too boring, your UFO encounter is probably because you have exploding head syndrome. Science gave us that.


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